Naked Indian Oil Massage: A Review

If that’s not an attention-grabbing title then I don’t know what is.

Don’t worry though, it’s really not as bad (or good??) as it sounds…

Having been on the road for about three weeks now and also having had some fairly ambitious travel plans fall through, my travel buddy and I decided we needed a treat.

A massage would be perfect, we decided, especially seeing as we can actually afford it here..

So off we went for a traditional, Keralan Ayurvedic massage, very calming and therapeutic, apparently..

We were led into a room by our two, tiny masseuses and told to take our clothes off.

“All good,” I told myself, “They’re just about to bring out those cool massage pyjamas.”

We stood awkwardly in our underwear until my girl, who looked about twelve, rolled her eyes, pointed and said, “Off.”

There was a shared look of mortified panic until my, far braver, travel buddy shrugged her shoulders and said, “Lucky we’re comfortable with each other.”

If we weren’t before, we sure as hell are now.

Bridget’s Travel Tip #42: Standing naked while a small Indian girl puts a paper loincloth on you is a situation that is best avoided..

I felt like Moby Dick… Huge and white..

The next step was climbing onto a table and being basted in oil.

Not the most relaxing massage ever, apart from being naked and oily, it was ticklish too.

I think the only thing worse than lying naked on a table while a small Indian girl stands over you with a pot of hot oil is laughing hysterically while it’s happening.

So the ordeal eventually finished and my travel buddy and I burst into raucous, relieved laughter the second we stepped outside.

“Maybe we should know what things are before we do them,” I suggested.

My travel buddy fervently agrees.

Oh and it turns out, the only thing worse than laughing hysterically while lying on a table while a small Indian girl stands over you with a pot of hot oil is getting the oil out of your hair..

:/

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